The Undefeatables: 9 More

After dispatching Florida and ending the regular season undefeated, all eyes turn to Nashville, where Kentucky will face a likely path of Alabama -> LSU -> Arkansas. Basically: no problem -> this ain't Baton Rouge -> your mother's a hog.  In short, the Cats aren't losing. #weownnashville

The Sporting News

The Sporting News

What I want to talk about is what I'm going to talk about here, and that's the NCAA Tournament--the Big Dance, the Madness, the Road to the Final Four, the Nantz in your Pantz. Joe Lunardi just came out with his latest bracketology, and while he's never right about anything, I want to address this possible setup for the Cats. 

Bracketologist Joe Lunardi

Bracketologist Joe Lunardi

1: Kentucky 
2: Wisconsin 
3: Notre Dame 
4: Baylor

1: Virginia 
2: Kansas 
3: Maryland 
4: Northern Iowa

1: Duke 
2: Gonzaga 
3: Iowa State 
4: Utah

1: Villanova 
2: Arizona 
3: Oklahoma 
4: Louisville

By all conceivable metrics, this is somehow even more skewed than last year's bracket, which was a joke. But, let's stop with this childish notion that life is fair and that the NCAA is at all interested in the things it proclaims to represent: fair play, ethics, not allowing students to enroll in fake classes, being totes cool with one university keeping in its employ/actively seeking out coaches who have publicly humiliated themselves, their universities and their families with their infidelity, etc. Life isn't fair, and the NCAA is proof. So, let's get over it (while also keeping in mind that within the ranks of the soothsayers, Lunardi is somewhere between meteorologists and Miss Cleo). 

Obviously, Kentucky's path here is the most difficult. 


I'll take it. I'll take it all day every day, twice on Sunday, and give me two desserts on Leap Year, both with chocolate and sprinkles, please and thank you. Here's why: it doesn't matter. No one can beat Kentucky but Kentucky. For real, y'all. Like, I don't care if Frank Kaminsky plays his best Frank Kaminsky game. He's never played against Willie, and he can't guard Willie or Karl (POWERKAT) or Trey. Notre Dame is (analysis redacted: this is the NCAA Tournament which never includes the Irish for more than two hours). Baylor I'll admit is a little scary, but this is the tournament, and there's no room for scared. If you want to win the title, you have to beat at least one good team to make it to the FInal Four, and if that team is Baylor, I can live with that. 

Supposing Kentucky gets to Indianapolis, if the bracket above turned out to be accurate, I think the Final Four would look something like Kentucky from the Midwest, Maryland from the East (or possibly an upset team), Gonzaga from the South (if it doesn't happen this year it'll never happen) and Arizona from the West. Yeah, I don't think Duke will be there because they don't play defense. Yeah, I don't think Virginia will be there because they don't play offense. And in this supposition, Kentucky will have already beaten Wisconsin. Would you take that? Yep. You'd take that. 


Let's call it all chalk: Kentucky, Duke, Virginia, Arizona because Villanova sucks. Which one of those teams scares you? Duke? Yeah, but they don't play defense, I just said that. Virginia? Yeah, but they don't play offense, I just said that. Arizona? Yeah, a little but for me it has more to do with my scars from 1997 than it does their current roster. 

Here's my POWER POINT: Stop freaking out. Will Kentucky inevitably draw the most difficult path to the championship because of unchecked NCAA fuckery? You're goddam right. But it doesn't matter. Hammers don't complain about how many nails are in front of them. Instead, they long for nails, big nails, because hammers are happiest when they're hammering. So, sit back, leave the complaining to the nails, cheer on the Cats and watch over the next six months as the Louisville athletic program continues to implode. 

Hey, this, where'd that Louisville thing come from? You're mean, plus you don't know anything. 

Shhh. Good night, sweet prince.