Kentucky Football's New Tradition: Being Good at Football

There has been a lot of talk the last couple weeks about Kentucky Football reaching out to fans in search of new traditions, which was the most Kentucky Football thing ever. It's analogous to buying Turtle Wax for your new Lambo when you're fifteen--and poor. It's analogous to moving to the ACC and declaring yourself all-growns-up because you hired Bobby Petrino. It's analogous to applying for that job at Berkshire-Hathaway before you've graduated--from Louisville. 

See what I'm driving at? Only a$$holes like Louisville declare themselves traditional without achieving tradition. Tradition is a byproduct of winning, not vice versa. It's one of those rare occasions in life when it's appropriate to use the passive voice, as in: traditions are made, we don't make them. They just happen. They happen when you win your first national title in 1948, and then, over the next eight (!) decades you win seven more, becoming the all-time winningest program along the way. That's tradition. 

So, I'd like to throw in my two cents regarding Kentucky Football's request for new traditions. My idea is simple: win, and win often. IDGAF what point in the afternoon we sing My Old Kentucky Home. IDGAF if you want to bring the anthropologists out in the first quarter and then twice at halftime. What I do GAF about is how little value we place on the tradition we do have. For instance, our logo, which I've covered in some detail in the Power (K) Ballad a couple posts down. Don't ask me about new traditions, UKAA, when you sit guilty in the aiding and abetting of the desecration of the most visible and appropriate symbol of our treasured past. You handed Nike the knife that cut the scar on our face. You continue to let us bleed. You want a new tradition? Win some GD football games, and I promise tradition will follow. 

To show that I'm not just a cynical bastard, though, please do allow me to make a suggestion. One stadium singing. It doesn't have to be this song, but I would recommend giving out the scarves: 

Everyone standing, everyone united. This only works, though, when the stadium is filled, and the fastest way to fill a stadium isn't with marketing consultants (unless they all want to buy season tickets). The fastest way to fill Commonwealth Stadium is by winning football games. And putting the POWER K BACK ON THE MOTHERF#CKING HELMETS.