A couple weeks ago I did a round of interviews with national opinion-makers, coaches and intellectual types about the timing of the bye week, and by all pertinent metrics like page visits and how hard I laughed at my own stuff, it was a huge success. This week, I've rounded up some new faces to go along with your favorite Power K Pundits to answer the question: More Cowbell or no more cowbell?
A lot has been made this week of Mississippi State's cowbells. In case you're unfamiliar, the SEC allowed State to resume use of their cowbells in 2010, lifting the league's 36-year ban on artificial noisemakers. The bells are only supposed to be rung at certain times (basically whenever, excluding the time the center is over the ball until the play is whistled dead), but the noise makes it nearly impossible for an opposing offense to communicate between plays.
So, we put the question to this week's Cowbell Council: More cowbell or no more cowbell--what do you think?
Mark Schlereth, ESPN Analyst (?)
I don't care. My hair is indestructible. I mean it's like a plastic Devo wig. My hair is like a cockroach. My hair will survive anything. The Holocaust? Boom! I mean, the apocalyptic kind of event? Boom! My hair is going to be OK.
(Yeah, no, he really said that. He said his hair would survive the Holocaust)
Skip Bayless, ESPN Personality (??)
Look, here's what you--
Power Interruption: LOL JK I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK EVER ABOUT ANYTHING
Roger Goodell, NFL Commissioner
Check it, check out this what I did with my mustache. It's bushy.
Power Awkwardness: Yeah, you uh, look like Burt Reynolds.
Well, that sucks. I was going for Stalin. I got that wrong. Okay, I got that wrong. I admit it. I completely blew it. I'll do better. I'll--I can make this thing right. What tape? Who's Ray Rice--from the Ravens? No, can't say I've ever heard of him. Hey, did you hear I got Bill Simmons suspended for three weeks? Ha! I'm basically a god, you know? But no, cowbells are for lessers and dummies. It's not something I'm prepared to tolerate. Now f#ck off.
Tom Jurich, Louisville Director of Athletics
Your official stance--you say you're with the Courier-Journal?
Okay, your official stance is that cowbells are for loud assholes. Include Kentucky. Say something like "Louisville is above it. We're above it. That's an SEC thing. Something that non-thinkers would use. The ACC is a conference dedicated to academics and high-level thinkers. People like a Tom Jurich, your Notre Dames, your Syracuses, your Louisvilles--schools known for being Ivy League-y. You don't have to word it exactly like that, but definitely use those exact words. And above it, put a picture of my head on Putin's body when he's riding that horse. Putin has a great chest, you know? Got it? Good because otherwise you'll have no access to my teams.
John Calipari, Kentucky Head Basketball Coach
Well, let me just say, I think it's all about, okay, what do the players want? What do they--we're here for them. It's like--have you ever seen the MacGyver? He does things--give him a cowbell and he'll give you back an iPad. See what I'm saying? It's not about the cowb--it's what are we doing with it? I start five freshm--it's never been done before; but we're doing it. Is that a cowbell because we're doing this NBA Combine before the season--it's never been done before. But we're doing it. We're doing it for the kid--so, you see if you have a cowbell, it's not, it's how are you ringing--are you ringing it upside down to help yourself or are you doing it the right way for the kids because what we're doing, it's never been--but we're doing it. If I have a cowbell, okay, you--I have--and I ring it, is it Big Blue Platoon time because that's--if you're doing it--we're doing it: succeeding and proceeding--ask DeMarcus Cousins, ask John Wa--you think Patrick Patterson--he said I want to stay and develop and outside shot, and it's never been--but we're doing it.