Lil Bronzie Watch: Week 5

Somebody's getting hosed this year because there are four guys, at least through five weeks, who I think are Heisman-worthy. Contrast that with the last two years, which saw the Heisman awarded to a system quarterback (Manziel) and by default because everyone else sucked (Winston), respectively. But, as they say in Texas, "Anytime you pass my house, I'd sure appreciate it."

The Finalists*

4. Everett Golson, Notre Dame QB

There was a time when quarterbacking Notre Dame to an undefeated record at the halfway point of a college football season had you on the cover of Sports Illustated (a sports "magazine" popular until the late '90s. It was like the Internet on paper and it got mailed to your house once a week). That time has passed because Golson is quietly putting together a season worthy of at least being mentioned for the Lil Bronzie. Golson torched Syracuse for 362 yards Saturday and, despite throwing his first two interceptions of the season, added four touchdowns and completed 82% (!) of his passes. In fact, he was so good, Brian Kelly's face almost didn't turn maroon, stopping instead on light maroon.


3. Melvin Gordon, Wisconsin RB

You don't see a ton of Melvins nowadays, and I think it's because no one named Melvin ever did anything cool. Seriously, I looked up famous people named Melvin, and none of them are famous at all. Like, seriously, not at all. There is famous Melvin, the alleged movie actor; famous Melvin, the alleged singer and famous Melvin, the alleged "other." 

Anyway, Melvin Gordon, thanks to his 440 rushing yards and 7 touchdowns the last two weeks, is skyrocketing up everyone's Heisman Watchlists, and I think it's about time we recognize him in this week's Lil Bronzie Watch before he becomes the Most Famous Melvin Who Ever Lived. Watch your ass, Melvin Laird, famous other. 

2. Ameer Abdullah, Nebraska RB

Another week, another 200 yards and 3 touchdowns for Abdullah. It's becoming as reliable as a Sheldon Cooper BAZINGA! every sixth episode of the Big Bang Theory (seriously, set your clock). This week, I am taking it with a grain of salt because Illinois is just oh so bad. Honestly, if you locked Illinois, Eastern Michigan, Wake Forest and some team about ten points better than Wake Forest in a closet and told them first person to walk out wins, you'd come back two days later and find them sucking each other's thumbs. 

And the PowerPoint goes to...


1. Todd Gurley, Georgia RB


I'm running out of things to say about Gurley. Against Tennessee, a bitter rival who played like one Saturday, Gurley rolled up 208 yards at 7.4 YPC. He also iced the game by converting a fourth down through sheer force of will. 


After five weeks, the PowerPoint standings look like this: 

  1. Todd Gurley (4 PowerPoints)
  2. Ameer Abdullah, Amari Cooper (2 PowerPoints)
  3. Marcus Mariota (1 PowerPoint)

*Notable bye weeks: Marcus Mariota, Amari Cooper